The Emotional Life of Constipation

I know you feel alone with your constipation right now.

I know you probably feel that your friends and family don’t fully understand your situation.

I know that you have an underlying discomfort of the unknown future.

I know there are times when you feel shameful, depressed, anxious and miserable.

…and how do I know this?

Because I’ve been in the exact same position too.

I suffered from my own digestive problems and swirls of emotional storms.

Feelings of emptiness and confusion with so much conflicting information out there on how to go about improving digestion.

I would read other peoples stories about how after years of symptoms and many appointments with specialists they were no better. This made me fearful as I though these people, some of them specializing in bowel disorders all of their lives, were supposed to know what to do to make symptoms go away and even they didn’t know how to make it happen.

“What now!!?”, I used to think to myself despairingly. “Who do I turn to?”

Then there are the social pressures. I’ve read many people with constipation with questions such as… how do you tell your friends that you don’t want to go the beach with them because your stomach looks too big from bloating and gas? Or you don’t want to go to a restaurant with them because you’re all ‘backed up’ and eating will only compound the problem? Or, even worse, how do you explain to your lover that you don’t want to be intimate because your bowels hurt and you’re afraid of passing gas?

There’s no doubt constipation is debilitating, depressing, agonizing and so misdiagnosed.

You’re probably wondering what can get you through it.

I think it’s the belief in yourself that you will find an answer to your debilitating constipation no matter what. Although there are times you feel like throwing it all in and giving up, nothing can really stop you; even if so-called experts don’t seem to have the answers for you.

The harrowing stories I have heard from other people suffering emotionally from constipation are ones that you would not wish on your worst enemy…

-          Jane, who shed a lot of weight because she didn’t feel like eating. She used to have a beautiful curvy feminine figure and now she felt anorexic. People would constantly say, ‘you look like you’re wasting away.’ How could she bring herself to look at them in the eyes and tell them she was suffering from major constipation!?

-          Joanne, whose life revolved around going to the bathroom, couldn’t work a full time job like everyone else. She tried it for 8 months but it was ‘hell on earth’ for her. She felt useless, unappreciated and unable to deal with lifes basic requirments.

-          When Ray told his employer about his debilitating condition(and other digestive issues) his position was made redundant and was let go even though he had been so loyal to the company for so many years throughout his personal struggle.

Stress, shame, guilt, depression, dependence, social anxiety, brain-fog, helplessness, fear, uncertainty… and this is just the emotional side of constipation, the side you can’t really see.

On top of this is the brutal reality of the physical pains and struggles.

Find someone who will listen to your emotional pains and struggles that arise is paramount.

But not just ‘any someone’…

I mean, finding a person who will listen without judgement, can empathize with your pain, and not try to fix you.

They’re able to just hear you out and support you no matter what. In fact, just the listening to you is the support.

This is very therapeutic and beneficial in contrast to bottling everything up. From a certain perspective, isn’t that a great description of what constipation is physically? So why would be choose to do it emotionally!

The act of being heard is crucial. You are a creature of relationship, meaning; a social being.

Not being heard, not being registered, not being acknowledged, and not feeling valued is like cutting off the oxygen supply to your joy and wellbeing.

If you feel you have no one like I have described above to listen to your story, feel free to email privately at kriscleary@realconstipationremedies.com, or even post a comment below with your thoughts.

Human beings are great at denying, reflecting and softening our feelings and emotions… but this only leads to on-going pain, inner turmoil, and dark days.

So be honest. That’s where all true change starts.

Best in health to you,

Kris Cleary